Yet Another Loop on the Vocational Discernment Rollercoaster: AN UPDATE

As most know and can read in previous blog posts, directly following my graduation from Minor Seminary a few months ago, I packed up all my basic belongings and made the long journey to Denver, Colorado to enter the Capuchin Fransican Province of Mid-America. By the grace of God, I joined 5 other new guys from around the United States and we hit it off very well, quickly getting to know one another, as well as the rest of the Friars in our formation Friary. Although, things were going quite well, something was tugging at me and pulling me in another direction. The bracketed comments below consist of a message that I sent to my parents and pastor a few months after I began my postulancy with the Capuchins and I would like to pass them to you now:
[I have been at the Capuchin Friary for a little over month and I am enjoying my time here so far. The cool weather is a God-send and the Rocky Mountains are extremely beautiful, especially as the fall season approaches. The Friars and the rest of the Postulants here are very nice, down to earth, holy men and we keep each other laughing much of the time. I have finished my first three weeks of classes which has unfortunately been mostly monotonous review for me. There are some guys here with no seminary background, or much Catechesis background for that matter, so we have had to start from the beginning, which I suppose is just fine. It’s always good to hear things for a second or third time, plus I love seeing others learn new things about our beautiful faith. Luckily I don’t have to attend the Catechism lectures, as I have been immersed in it for the past many years. Praise the almighty God for that one! HA! We have already been on one retreat up in the mountains at the Mother Cabrini Shrine in Golden, Colorado. It was truly a wonderful and fruitful time of prayer and reflection where I was really able to open myself up to God and be completely honest with myself and my discernment.
With all of that good stuff being said, there is something that I would like y’all to know and I want to be very honest with you. I have truly submitted myself to this Capuchin formation process and thus far it has been quite an adventure and it has produced many, many fruits, especially spiritual fruits.
It has been in my deepest prayer and contemplation here that I feel God has given me concrete signs and a clearer path to walk and understand. I do not believe in the least that coming here was a mistake. I have been blessed with the opportunity to live in community again and have been enjoying all that that entails. I have "consecrated myself" to Jesus through Mary (via St. Maximillian Kolbe & the Militia Immaculata) and therefore have re-sparked my relationship with our Blessed Mother, which only struggled because of my own shortcomings in life. I have experienced the cold climate and the mountains again! I have also visited my place of Baptism and First Holy Communion, St. Michael The Archangel Parish, which was a blessing for me. I have also been given the grace in discovering more of my many weaknesses, and with even more graces, have tackled them head on. I also discovered a new great devotion and guide in St. Joseph, thanks to Fr. Regis Scanlon, one of the Friars here, who opened my eyes to some really incredible things about the earthly father of Jesus. I have also been teaching a very successful "Social Catholic Doctrine" class to the Residents at the homeless shelter, which has been a blast and has really affirmed my desire for teaching and preaching. Finally, I have experienced living in poverty which has given me a new perspective on things and has proven to be something that I desire to continue by living simply in life.
I continue to have a very special place in my heart for St. Francis of Assisi and I always will. I will also be FOREVER devoted to St. Padre Pio of Pietrelcina and consider him my personal Patron! My relationship with him is still as strong as ever! However...I have come to a very difficult, yet relieving, realization that God, perhaps, has another plan for me in this life. I have come to the realization that over the past three years, my personal spirituality has become very monastic and contemplative in nature and that I really need an order which can help to foster that. It has become clear to me that I have been trying to force my spirituality to be all Franciscan all the time (purely out of an ideal), while the deepest depths of my being have been screaming Benedictine, contemplation & monasticism. I now understand that I am just not as ‘spiritually & charismatically spontaneous’ as the Franciscans are and that is perfectly OK. I cannot be someone or something that I am not. I cannot keep trying to fit a mold that I cannot fit into, no matter how much I contort, shift, or move around with it. I also understand fully now that I can always embrace the Franciscan “spirit,” which is total Gospel living, with ANYTHING I do in life, even as a Benedictine Monk, Diocesan Priest, Family man etc.
My experiences and prayer while here with the Capuchin Friars have brought me to this:
- I sorely miss and long for the rich Benedictine "liturgies," which in some circles is seen as the primacy of our faith, as it is our Divine worship.
- I prefer the firmer prayer and work schedule of a Monastery much more than the contatnly changing schedule that the Friars follow here.
- I am completely drawn to the life of "Ora et Labora,” which translates to "prayer and work."

- The surroundings, atmosphere, and grounds of any Abbey & Monastery are, in every way, more conducive to prayer and truly do help my spiritual needs and endeavors. It also gives ample space to walk around, find solitude in my contemplation, and just plain EXPLORE.
- Every part of me longs for the music and chanting aspect of the monastic worship and prayer life because it uplifts me and helps me to transcend past the chapel floor here (there is little to NO music here, which is a striggle for me).
- I whole-heartedly desire a more austere life than what the Capuchins have to offer.
- Surprisingly, I desire more quiet! I never ever in a million years thought that I would desire silence at meals until coming here to discern with the Capuchin Friars who eat together for EVERY single meal. I have a new appreciation for the Benedictine practice of silent meals, especially if brothers are around each other ALL day long (it's a good time for rest, silence and to take in scripture/spiritual readings).
- I have been entranced by the rich history and tradition of many of the Monasteries around the United States and I think I'm feeling called to become part of that tradition.
- I had a slightly skewed idea of what the Capuchin life was really like. I really, truly didn't spend enough time visiting here before applying and entering. This life is just not for me, I know that now, though I am very thankful for the experience.
…These are just naming a few.
So, this is where I'm at and I wanted y'all to be among the first to know. I have pretty much seen all of what the day-to-day life of a Capuchin Friar entails and as beautiful of a life as it is in MY ideal and in reality for some, I am almost certain that I was/am meant for another charism. The great thing about ALL religious orders is that they all are striving for a life of holiness, sanctity, and closness/unity with God. They also live their lives entirely for others, whether one is a Trappist monk tucked away in the Alps to live in life-long prayer & supplication or whether one is a barefoot, humble Friar in the streets of Calcutta, India helping the homeless. If the Benedictine life is the life I am supposed to live (and I think that it is) then I want to live it as St. Theodore of Studium proclaimed, "A monk is he who directs his gaze towards God alone, and who, being at peace with God, becomes a source of peace for others." I want more than anything to help the “spiritually homeless & destitute” and spend my life seeking God in contemplation and in more subdued, yet extremely essential ministries, while of course never ceasing or subduing my own creativity, passion, or gifts. I fully acknowledge my God-given gifts of working with people, thriving in the "one on one," and perhaps teaching & preaching and I know that I can still do all of that, perhaps even more, with the Benedictines.]
So, soon after I came to these realizations and after honest discussions with my parents, formation director, and spiritual director, I began making plans to leave formation with the Capuchin Franciscans in Denver (on very good terms with them, thank God!) and I returned home to Austin to begin my pivot in a new vocational direction! Soon after arriving at home, I began this new discernment by contacting three Monasteries, the one in Louisiana, St. Joseph (where I attended Seminary) another in Arkansas, Subiaco Abbey & one more in Oklahoma (just to get a look at another monastery). Soon after the initial contacts, my discernment visits to the monasteries began!

TO BE CONTINUED in the next post...

A Story Close to my Heart: A Revelation For the World that has been LONG OVERDUE

I don't need to give much of a dissertation on this one, as the video (clip) below does it much better than I ever could. But I will say this: The next time we find ourselves in prayer or feeling extra charitable, let us NOT forget the poverty and suffering going on in our own backyard. There is a forgotten people in this country of ours, the greatest country in the world, and I am resolved to reverse that fact as much as I possibly can. These are some incredible people who TRULY NEED OUR HELP! I encourage you to watch this clip and hopefully the full 20/20 episode, help in any way that you can, and keep our native brothers and sisters in your thoughts, prayers, and charitable actions. 



³¹ “But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. ³² All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; ³³ and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left.
   ³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Mesomething to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; ³⁶naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ ³⁷ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? ³⁸ And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? ³⁹ When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ ⁴⁰ The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’
   ⁴¹ “Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; ⁴² for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; ⁴³ I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ ⁴⁴ Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ ⁴⁵Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ ⁴⁶ These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” ~Matthew 25:31-46

Seminary gave me GUTS

A little story: For the first 7 years of life, I had a very serious case of introversion. It got so bad that I was taken for observation and treatment to a psychologist/counselor. I vividly remember having to talk to a family of puppets named the Johnson Family. Evidently this therapy had a positive affect! HA!  Long story short, my shell was just harder than most people and I finally broke out of it fully around 16 years old! Praised be Jesus Christ! I was finally talking, sharing my opinions, asking questions in class and I just wasn't afraid anymore....when it came to "talking" that is. At age 21, I made one of the best decisions in my life and answered God's call to discern the Catholic Priesthood and enter the Seminary. When I entered, something was tugging at me to try out for the one an only "official" organization on the Seminary campus, The Schola Cantorum (Seminary Choir). WHAT WAS I THINKING? I had never so much as hummed or even whistled in front of ANYBODY in my life. Well, once again, I can wholeheartedly say that God took the reigns and I somehow tried out for the Schola and made it as a 1st Tenor! This surprised the hell out of me! But, I saw it as a blessing and God's will that I share my gift with my brothers and the faithful who come to worship at the Abbey! It took lots convincing from myself and from my mentor, Br. Benedict Robert O.S.B, that I actually had a decent enough voice. It took a full year for me to sing solo and the recordings below humbly showcase what God had given me the opportunity to do! The last video is my personal favorite piece that myself and my Schola brothers sang during a fall semester Mass! Please enjoy!

St. Pio and Our Lady

Praised be Jesus Christ! I realize that this homily is from last September, but I found it very poignant for me at this time in my life as I continue to work on my relationship with and devotion to my Heavenly Mother! This is Fr. Ignatius Manfredonia, Friar and Priest with the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate! I have been following him and his homilies for some time now. He is not the most dynamic speaker, but his words are incredibly authentic and captivating!

 

The Christ in ALL of us...

A thought God laid on my heart today: 

Jesus Christ is in every person, right?  And so many people, our brothers and sisters, in this world are poor, suffering, marginalized... but how many of us "fortunate" individuals actually take even a moment to care! What if it was Jesus in the flesh on the street crippled and suffering? Would we stop??? Is Christ not in every single person?

 

    

Let us see Christ in EVERYONE! The poor, the suffering, the marginalized, our enemies...

First Look at Peter Jackson's "Hobbit"....FINALLY!!!

I...CANNOT....WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Supposedly to be released in 2013...

Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins in a familiar place we all know, his home Bag End! 

Sir Ian McKellan is back as Gandalf!

The Franciscan Breakdown

Many of you have asked about the Capuchin religious order that I am joining in September and if it is actually Franciscan. The answer is YES and very much so! The Franciscan family is a very large and diverse group. Praised be Jesus Christ for that! The basic breakdown within the Catholic Church is into three orders:

First Order: Male, broken down into 3 groups: 

1) OFM
2) Capuchins (OFMCap)
3) Conventuals (OFMConv)

Second Order: Female, consisting of various groups of Poor Clare Nuns

Third Order: Both male and female.  
There are 2  breakdowns here:

1) Third Order Regular
2) Third Order Secular (Secular Franciscan Order)

Further breakdowns are made into provinces, which are sometimes geographical and sometimes not. Along with this there can be vice-provinces and custodies. There can also be groups outside this structure such as various pious associations, secular institutes and non-canonical groups. There are also some meta-organizations built around Franciscans in a certain country or working in a particular kind of ministry.  There are even some Franciscan groups outside the Catholic Church, like the various groups of Anglican Franciscans.

By far the most diverse part of the Franciscan Family is the Third Order Regular groups. The largest male group is the TOR’s, but there are also other smaller male groups. The female groups are very numerous and widespread, and each is an order unto itself.

(Taken from The Franciscan Institute Library; St. Bonaventure University)

Each one of these orders and groups makes up St. Francis' Family tree and each have their own beautiful and intriguing origins and stories. All worth reading about and studying! I hope this helps to give a basic understanding!  PAX ET BONUM (Peace and All Good)! 

Identity Crisis?

In a world that makes us question so many things - ourselves, our existence, our purpose, the meaning of life....it's no wonder, from time to time, we find ourselves suffering with our own identity. Throughout life, it is so very important in those instances when we experience these identity crisis', to FIRST, do this.....

LOOK at a CRUCIFIX! 

This is our identity. 

SEE it.....RECALL it.....CONTEMPLATE it.....BELIEVE it.....LIVE it! 

Prayer Before the Crucifix

Look down upon me good and gentle Jesus, while before Thy face I humbly kneel and with burning soul pray and beseech Thee to fix deep in my heart lively sentiments of faith, hope and charity, true contrition for my sins and a firm purpose of amendment, while I contemplate with great love and tender pity Thy Five Wounds, pondering over them within me and calling to mind the words which David, Thy prophet said of Thee, my Jesus, “They have pierced My Hands and My Feet, they have numbered all My Bones.” [Psalm 21: 17 – 18]

WHOA! Is that Jesus in the middle of the Street?

WOW! Talk about taking it to the streets! In a world that depends so much on tangible, visible, touchable experiences....This is what our world could use more of...Don't forget! You can always meet Jesus in Eucharistic Adoration at a nearby Catholic Church! He is ALWAYS present there in "Visible" form! However, let's also not forget that He is present everywhere and always, forever and ever! Peace and Blessings Y'all!

Post Graduation, Future Plans!

+PRAISED BE JESUS CHRIST+

Yesterday I received some very exciting and long-awaited news. Now that things are a bit more certain and set in stone, I feel that it is the right time to let everyone know what I will be doing come September...

Since graduating from my beloved St. Joseph Seminary College, I have discontinued formation with the Diocese of Austin. I am leaving on very good terms with both Bishop Vasquez and the Diocese. I have been formally and officially accepted for entrance into the Capuchin Franciscan religious order, and if all goes according to plan, I will be entering the first formation year called the postulancy in early September. This particular Province (community) of Friars are located in Denver, Colorado Springs, and Black Forest, Colorado; as well as Hay, Victoria, and Lawrence, Kansas. 

The Capuchin Franciscans are another branch of the Franciscans. All Franciscans are followers of the great St. Francis of Assisi and they live their lives radically and authentically according to the Gospel. They take three vows, Poverty, Chastity, and Obedience, somewhat similar to a Diocesan Priest. The community is made up of Brothers and Priests, and at this point in my discernement, I still feel very called to the Priesthhod and plan on continuing that path just in this different way. I will be spending 1-2 years as a postulant and then 1 year as a novice in the year they call the "notiviate year" (this particular year, I will be living in Santa Ynez, California). At the start of the novitiate year, is when I will receive the Habit (the Brown robe with the long Capuchin hood)! Until then, I wear normal, everyday, what one might call "civilian" clothing as well as a Franciscan Cross around my neck. After these initial 2-3 years of formation, should I be ready, I will take my first vows as a Friar for the next three or so years. Perpetual/Solemn vows come after that. 

Here is a quick synopsis about the Capuchins from the Province that I will be joining, The Mid-American Province of St. Conrad in Denver, Colorado:

[Capuchins are perhaps most easily recognized by the brown habit and long capuche (hood) for which the Order is named. Renowned as peacemakers and simple, approachable religious, the Capuchin friars have been serving the Church in the United States since the 17th century. Capuchins were among the first missionaries in Maine, Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Kentucky, and all along the Mississippi River. The first pastors of both New York City and St. Louis were Capuchins. Today there are seven regional jurisdictions of Capuchins in the continental United States and others in Puerto Rico and the Marianna and Hawaiian Islands. Usually found in the poorer sections of towns and cities, the Capuchins have a special charism for working among those who are most looked down upon and willingly taking the assignments which others refuse. You will find Capuchins working in soup kitchens and homeless shelters, working as hospital chaplains or in prison ministry. Additionally, you may find Capuchins serving as parish priests or university professors, as preachers and nurses and as missionaries to distant lands. You may even find Capuchins serving in your local shopping mall.

A Capuchin is many things to many people. He is above all else, however, a brother among brothers and a man committed to prayer. Capuchin friars build their life and ministry on these two essential foundations: prayer and fraternity. Centered upon their Eucharistic Lord and supported by a loving devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, personal and community prayer nourishes the friars’ relationship with God and one another and enables them to give fully of themselves to those they serve in ministry. Along with prayer, fraternity is of great importance to a Capuchin friar. This fraternal life provides them with companionship while witnessing their brotherhood to an increasingly isolated and alienated world. The charism, when lived authentically, is a witness to the gospel life in which, after washing the disciples' feet, the Lord exhorts his followers to do the same for others.

The Province of Mid- America was established in 1977, serving Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, and most of Illinois, and missions in Puerto Rico and Papua, New Guinea, and more recently, Mexico. Its nine stateside friaries are located in Denver, Black Forest, and Colorado Springs, Colorado; and Hays, Victoria, and Lawrence, Kansas]

 If y'all have any specific questions, please don't hesitate to call, text, e-mail, or message me!

THANK YOU so much in advance for all of your prayers and faithful support! This is a big change and big step in my discernment and formation, but it is one that I feel God is truly calling me to! He truly works in mysterious ways and I will continue to follow with an unyielding faith!

A few notes from my recent trip to see Fr. John Corapi

“Let me just take the gloves off, I’m too old and too tired and I don’t care anymore about
playing silly games. We’re witnessing before our very eyes, the
destruction of Western civilization — by our own hand.” 


The moral unraveling of a nation precedes the ultimate unraveling of a nation.

Return to the fundamentals one person at a time.

You neglect the fundamentals to your own peril.


We are at war and our battle is not with flesh and bone.

God by definition is pure simplicity.

God is. God is the word. God gave us the word. God has nothing left to say!


I am a blunt instrument and an equal opportunity offender!


You reach down to your brothers and sisters, but don't stay down there, pick them up.

God is a God of order, not chaos.

If you ran your household, like the government runs theirs, you'd be bankrupt in no time...why? 'Cause you're dumb!

Love is not warm-fuzzy, it's sacrifice!


If you've made it to purgatory, you've made it.


In plain English...GROW UP!


I can't be seen with a woman, I can't be seen with a man, I can't be seen with a child. So, where does that leave me? Right where the devil wants me...Alone!


You can absolutely kill someone with your tongue.


What merit is it to love only those that are loveable?


Abortion is genocide...in plain English!


The #1 form of penance = Acceptance


OFFER IT UP!


What are you willing to do to save a soul?


You love to the degree that you are willing to sacrifice.


If you live in a self-centered way, soon you won't be living at all.


No saint was canonized for what he knew. It doesn't matter what you know, it matters what you do!


God does have unconditional love for us, but He doesn't love the sin that's eating us alive.


Sometimes there are people that need offending! You are not exercising charity by telling someone what they wanna hear! As an equal opportunity offender, I will do a public service and offend someone up one side and down the other! 


You cannot be Pro-Choice and Catholic...Sorry! That's a no-brainer!


What do you think it is in the mother's womb if it is not a human? 
...And it is NOT a potential human being, it is a human being with potential!


The guilty thing is silence, we sift in our complacency. 


Mary conceived Jesus in her heart before she conceived him in her womb.


Immaculate heart of Mary, I place my trust in you!

My revelation from the street...

After class today I decided to swing by the Catholic Bookstore, which is kind of out of my way, but I just had the sudden desire to go. On my way there I had my first encounter. Before turning onto the main highway, I slowed down and was stopped at a traffic light and like most people do, I began to take in my surroundings as I was halted there. I looked to my left and saw a nicely landscaped McDonald's fast food restaurant and in front of me a nice Honda Civic waiting for my same turn and then to my left...I saw it...or, him, rather. I laid my eyes upon a sleeping soul literally wrapped around the trunk of a small tree with his entire livelihood resting upon him in a multitude of grocery sacks and shredded backpacks. This man was homeless and fast asleep at 10am in the morning along a busy highway for all of the world to see and judge. Upon arriving to this stop on my way towards my destination, I had no joke seen two other homeless folk begging for money at the previous stop lights - them I thought nothing about. I figured they just wanted my hard earned money to go and blow on drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and the like. I impulsively looked down to avoid eye contact when they passed my nice new Toyota Celica that smelled of my nice deceased breakfast sandwich that was now resting in peace in my fulfilled stomach. I drove on and even burped with satisfaction. But, what was it about that sleeping man that got me so shaken up inside? What was it about that man that sent my guilt into a frenzy? Why couldn't I take my eyes off of this publicly slumbering stranger? Was it because he had no where to lay his restless head and settled for the softest piece of ground he could find? - I thought about my queen size oasis of a bed at home with my four plush pillows. Was is because he was hiding from the blinding and scorching sun under the only shade he could find? - I thought about my 3200 square foot house just the next suburb over and the state of the art ceiling fan my dad had just installed over my bed. Was it the humiliation that he must have felt partaking in one of the most intimate and private occurrences in a person's everyday life, SLEEP, all out in the open for everyone to see? - I thought of my over-sized room, with it's four walls painted the color of my choice, my window with an optional view of my entire street outside, that came and went with the pull of my blinds, and the solid door that led to the hallway when I unlocked it, turned the brass handle and opened it. Was it his nomadic house that went wherever he went, that sat wherever he sat, that got wet whenever he got wet, that got heavy whenever he got tired? - I thought of my multitude of belongings, especially those that I just had to have and once bought, retired to my museum of a bookshelf collecting blankets of dust. Was it the his shopping cart that was taken from a parking lot out of his own necessity? - I thought of my nice little Toyota and its spacious trunk space that could double with the fold of my back seats. Was it his hand on his aching leg that I could see trembling, even in sleep, from the restlessness of travel? - I again thought of my Toyota and the short distances I would drive it, places that would take 10 minutes to walk, out of extreme sloth and laziness. Then came the revelation.........to be completed soon! 

A Look Back...Seminary - Year 2

Just a few scattered thoughts and reflections about this past year! I am so unworthy of this beautiful calling of Discernment to the Priesthood of Jesus Christ. I know I am not qualified, but as a wise man once told me, "God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called!" Thanks Dad!
And so I continue this incredible journey, I trudge through the rocky terrain, I fall and I get up, I fall and I get up, I fall and I get up, I experience sadness, I experience joy, I experience the pain of others and I experience pain myself; I remain steadfast, my determination can't be wavered, I know what I must do, I see the path that God has set before me, I walk on my head held high, I walk on with a jump in my step, I walk on with my hands raised high...Praised be Jesus Christ!

It is professed in Romans Chapter 5, “rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.” As I continue on this uneasy path set out for me by God, I take pause to reflect on my second year at St. Joseph Seminary College. Thus far it has been a numbing, yet humbling year of unprecedented growth for me. I have experienced God's great love and presence in my life this past year, but I have also experienced a far-reaching desert-like distance from him. Through this experience, I have found great consolation in these words of Paul's to the Romans, for I too have felt a great sense of suffering this year, but what hasn't killed me has made me a stronger and more mature man of God and Seminarian...More to come within the day....check back soon!

Capuchin Friars Visit

This past Spring break I was extremely fortunate to be able to go spend 3 days with the Mid-American Capuchin Franciscan Friars in Denver, Colorado (my hometown) for a Friary Visit and discernment weekend! It was truly a blessing to see and experience the life of a Capuchin Friar. Upon my arrival to Denver, I met a family friend at the airport who was there to pick me up. To my surprise at the baggage claim, my luggage had not shown up. I waited for over an hour and finally after everyone on my flight had received their baggage, I went to the baggage claim desk to talk to the folks in charge. They checked their list, which I was not on, so I made one more visit to the baggage claim and saw nothing but a big bucket with a huge clear trash bag inside, going around the conveyor belt. I walked up to it slowly and couldn't see anything in it. It went around twice before I went and looked again at which point I saw a familiar logo on a black hoodie. My mouth dropped. it was my Seminary logo. I grabbed the whole plastic bucket and forcefully put it on the ground and opened up the huge plastic bag. To my unfortunate surprise it was all the contents of my bag, including my bag, all CUT UP in shreds and covered in oil!! AHHH!....more to come in a few....

Toy Story 3: A GREAT end to the Saga!

I found these cool facts online:

'Toy Story 3' Chock Full of Hidden Facts and Movie References

by Mike Ryan · June 22, 2010

"Toy Story 3" has entertained children and parents alike (and has made at least one childless, unmarried adult male in his thirties cry) to the tune of $110 million dollars in its opening weekend.
Chances are, considering the amount of money the film made over the weekend, that if you're reading this, there's a better than average chance you've seen the film. If you have, there are a few hidden "Easter eggs" (the cinematic term for meaningful images or references buried in a movie) worthy of a second look. Even if you haven't seen "Toy Story 3," it's worth reading on for some fun facts you can impress your friends with.

Slashfilm and ComingSoon.net have put together exhaustive lists of the Easter eggs hiding in "Toy Story 3," and the New Orleans Times-Picayune also did some digging and found a few pieces of trivia that bear repeating. Highlights of those lists include:

• "A113," the number of a classroom at CalTech where many Pixar animators studied, shows up as an Easter egg in every Pixar film. In the "Toy Story" series, it's the license plate on Andy's mother's car.
• Sid, the bully from the first movie who wears a skull T-shirt, appears as a garbage man in the new film wearing the same skull T-shirt.
• There's a postcard on Andy's dresser addressed from the featured characters from last year's "Up," Carl and Ellie Fredrickson.
• Lightning McQueen from "Cars" is referenced a few times throughout the film: A miniature toy car at the daycare center, on a child's shirt at the center and on a fictional train that shares McQueen's number, 95. That number is itself an Easter egg, referring to 1995, the year the first "Toy Story" was released.
• A calendar from Pizza Planet is clearly seen. Pizza Planet has appeared in every Pixar film except "The Incredibles."
• Pixar has a history of hiding a character to be featured in a later movie somewhere in a current film. Nemo first appeared in "Monsters, Inc." and "Toy Story 3" newcomer, Lots-o-Huggins Bear (who, ironically, is not very huggable), first appeared alongside a bed in "Up." A poster on Andy's wall shows a character from next year's "Cars 2." It shows Finn McMissile, a British sports car/secret agent who plays a major role in the sequel.
• Buzz Lightyear's batteries are from "Buy 'N' Large," the giant corporation responsible for ruining the planet in "WALL-E."
• Totoro, the furry, friendly creature from Hayao Miyazaki's Japanese animated classic "My Neighbor Totoro," shows up as a toy that Woody meets. Pixar founder John Lasseter has called Miyazaki an inspiration for his work, and Lasseter produced his most recent film, "Ponyo."
• A significant amount of the film takes place at a daycare center. At the daycare center, Mr. Ray the Scientific Stingray from "Finding Nemo" makes a cameo. Nemo himself appears as a sticker on Andy's toybox.
• "Toy Story 3" director Lee Unkrich performs one line in the movie, as the voice of the Jack in the Box character.
• The "Toy Story 3" screenplay took 2 1/2 years to write and storyboard.
• John Ratzenberger keeps his streak alive of appearing in every single Pixar film made to this point. For "Toy Story 3," he reprises his role as Hamm.
• Ken, voiced by Michael Keaton, was based on a 1988 version of him called "Animal Lovin' Ken" which included his "own chimpanzee to care for and love." Um, okay. The Barbie featured in the film is based on a 1983 version titled "Great Shape Barbie."
• Ken wears 21 different outfits in the movie.
• Woody has 229 animation points of movement in his face. Buzz has 215 animation avatars in his face.
• There are 302 characters in the film.

• "Toy Story 3" marks the best opening weekend in the history of Pixar, which is quite a feat, considering all eleven Pixar films have opened as the number one in their respective weekend. "Toy Story 3" is the first film in the "Toy Story" series to be released in the very lucrative 3D format. Considering the added cost per ticket, plus the demand to see the film, it's little surprise that "Toy Story 3" is on pace to pass the $400 million mark in domestic box office. 

The "C" Word.........C..e..l..i..b..a..c..y.

My good friend and brother seminarian Daniel Root just posted a good thought-provoking question on Facebook today and it did in fact make me think. His question was - "wonders why the only people who are bothered by celibacy are the ones who are not celibate?" I think one of the greatest issues with this is the fact that Celibacy is so counter to our present culture that it in a way scares people, it's not the norm, it yields no offspring, and it seems like a sad way to live - what do you mean you can't have sex for the rest of your life?!? People often ask me, don't you want to have a wife and kids? If I answered no to that question, that would be grounds for great concern. Of course I would like to have a family and kids. I have always wanted to have kids. I even had a good, healthy, generous, Catholic quota in mind - 6 kiddos! Would that have flown with my wife...eh who knows?!? hahaha!  BUT, God has called me to live me life in another way and I am at great peace with that now. Just after two years of Seminary experience and training, I have come to understand a little bit better what Celibacy is and what it means for the Priestly life. Most of my attitudes about sexuality and celibacy, up to my entering the seminary, had been shaped by our secular society and by my friends. So I had to start fresh and remain ope-minded when it came to this particular idea of celibacy. I have always understood what Celibacy is, but on a very elementary level. I definitely knew about the infamous part of not having sex for the rest of your life and this is why celibacy gets such negative attention in our world. Many if not most people see celibacy as a suppression of nature and one that is tragic and unfair. Admittedly, I saw celibacy as just that while I was growing up. After furthering my knowledge of celibacy, which I have committed my self to, I have discovered the true beauty and joy of the priest's call to live a celibate life. I now understand that the true essence of celibacy goes much deeper than just the physical aspects. It became apparent that celibacy should aim for affective maturity, which in this sense, is the ability to live a true and responsible love. Celibacy is hard for most, but I know that God will never allow me to face anything that I cannot conquer or handle. If you believe in God with ALL of your heart, anything is possible through Him! With that inspiration etched into my heart, a sense of ease is brought over me concerns about celibacy and chastity invade my thoughts. I may not ever have the opportunity to be a “biological father,” but joy fills my heart none the less, because I know that through God, if it continues to be His will for me, I will be a “Spiritual Father” and be given the grace to love and serve all of my brothers and sisters, without a wife and children. I have found my true happiness in God; He will fill all voids! Celibacy is a LIFELONG process, just like Marriage is a LIFELONG process. Both are tough and both are beautiful vocations from God! Both require trust and both require God as a central player! I will reiterate, If you believe in God with ALL of your heart, anything is possible through Him!

Below is a short video about Celibacy that goes into MUCH farther depths than I could ever go into at this point in my discernment! Please watch if you are interested or in search of answers and if any of this does not suffice, I challenge you to prayerfully and proactively continue searching for the answers! God Bless!

A Prophetic Calling

   To be “called” by God is a rather daunting and uncommon call and one that isn’t to be taken lightly. Perhaps this is why the many prophets we find within prophetic scripture have such trepidation and doubt when God calls them to prophesy.  This doubt and fear causes most of the prophets to outright reject God from the onset. However, saying “no” to God is like pouring water into the ocean, it’s very ineffective. The prophets eventually accept God’s call to prophesy and they begin to preach His message in obedience, with faith as their guide. The prophets Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel are three men that share this similar call from God, who asks them to accept the gift of prophecy and to preach His message. Each of these prophets’ call is thematically similar, but different in circumstance, and each responds in his own unique way.
    Isaiah is an aristocratic southerner whose call to prophesy came in the same year that King Uzziah died, around 742 B.C (NAB  p.936). Isaiah’s call begins with a vision in the Temple, “I saw the Lord seated on a high and lofty throne, with the train of his garment filling the temple. Seraphim were stationed above; each of them had six wings: with two they veiled their faces, with two they veiled their feet, and with two they hovered aloft. ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts!’ they cried one to the other. ‘All the earth is filled with his glory!’ At the sound of that cry, the frame of the door shook and the house was filled with smoke.” Isaiah then cries out in anguish, “Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts” (Is.6:1-5). At that cry, one of the seraphim takes an ember from the altar and touches Isaiah’s lips in order to purge his sins and remove his wickedness. Following this initial rejection and purification, Isaiah hears the Lord speak, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” Isaiah promptly responds, “Here I am; send me!” (Is.6:8). God imparts his prophetic mission onto Isaiah, whom then embarks on the task at hand.
    Jeremiah, a southerner from Judah, is also called to prophesy, but his call to that life comes about in a different, and perhaps, more personal way.  This is evident through God’s words to Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you” (Jer.1:5). This demonstrates God’s great destiny for Jeremiah, even before he was formed into being. Even more blatantly than Isaiah however, Jeremiah initially rejects God’s call with the words, “Ah, Lord God! I know not how to speak; I am too young” (Jer.1:6). To this, God replies, “Say not, ‘I am too young.’ To whomever I send you, you shall go; whatever I command you, you shall speak. Have no fear before them, because I am with you to deliver you” (Jer.1:7-8). Then in a similar act to Isaiah, God makes contact with Jeremiah’s mouth by stretching out his hand and touching it. God follows this significant act with the words, “See, I place my words in your mouth! This day I set you over nations and over kingdoms, to root up and to tear down, to destroy and to demolish, to build and to plant” (Jer.1:9-10). God continues to converse with Jeremiah and then the prophet, like Isaiah, embarks on the task at hand.
    Ezekiel, an Israelite in the exiled Babylon, is the first to be called to prophesy outside of the Holy Land. Ezekiel’s call from God seems to be more complex and detailed, in that Ezekiel has visions which none of the other prophets had. His earliest vision is that of four living creatures, eventually recognized as cherubim. Above the cherubim, seated on a throne, is God in all his glory. After God’s presence is made clear to Ezekiel, he falls on his face and is lifted to his feet by the spirit when God addresses him by saying, “Son of man, stand up! I wish to speak with you” (Ez.2:1). God again addresses Ezekiel saying, “Son of man, I am sending you to the Israelites, rebels who have rebelled against me…you shall say to them: Thus says the Lord God! And whether they heed you or resist - for they are a rebellious house- they shall know that a prophet has been among them” (Ez.2:3, 2:4-5). In a similar fashion to that the two previous prophets, God then makes special, significant contact with Ezekiel’s mouth, asking him to eat the scroll before him. Ezekiel, in contrast to the other two prophets immediately obeys God’s command and eats the scroll saying, “I ate it, and it was as sweet as honey in my mouth.” (Ez.3:3). God then imparts his prophetic mission unto Jeremiah by saying, “Son of man, go now to the house of Israel, and speak my words to them” (Ez.3:4). Soon after this, Jeremiah follows suit and embarks on the task at hand.
    Each of these prophets, Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel, receive an extraordinary call from God to preach with a countercultural approach and each responds in their own distinct way. All have their share of fear and trembling and most reject their call completely. However, God in His mysterious ways, gets all three men to eventually accept their higher calling and all go forth prophesying in faith.

Feast of Corpus Christi

I wanted to know more about this great Feast of the Church. Here is some of what I gathered:

The Feast of Corpus Christi is an important solemnity celebrated by the Roman Catholic Church, traditionally on the Thursday following Trinity Sunday. “Corpus Christi” literally translates to mean “Body of Christ,” therefore it can obviously be concluded that the Feast of Corpus Christi celebrates the Holy Eucharist. Due to the centrality of the Eucharist within our Catholic Faith, the Church has deemed it necessary to call this feast day a holy day of obligation for all Catholics.
How did such a feast day come to be? This holy day of the Church can be most attributed to St. Juliana of Belgium. Juliana, from a very early age had quite a devotion and great fidelity for the Blessed Sacrament. It was this strong attachment to the Eucharist, that always left her longing for a special feast in it’s honor. This desire was reinforced through her “vision of the Church under the appearance of the full moon having one dark spot, which signified the absence of such a solemnity” (Mershman). Her sharing of this vision caught the attention of some highly influential men, those being Bishop Robert de Thorete, the future Cardinal Dominican Hugh, Archdeacon Jacques Pantaleon, and eventually Pope Urban IV. Bishop Robert de Thorete was especially enthused by the devotion and vision of Juliana, that he used his Episcopal authority to order a local Corpus Christi celebration in the following liturgical year. He even went as far to order a specific monk to write the new office for it’s occasion.
It was the Bishop of Liege who made the push for a universality of the local feast. By the grace of God, Pope Urban IV was already an aficionado of the feast and shortly after the Bishop’s appeal, published “Transiturus” in September of 1264, which ordered Corpus Christi to be celebrated annually each Thursday after Trinity Sunday. Along with this order, he even granted special indulgences for those faithful who attended the Corpus Christi feast masses.
To this day, Corpus Christi is celebrated annually, the Thursday after Trinity Sunday and in some regions, the Sunday after Trinity Sunday. “Typically Corpus Christi services consist of singing traditional hymns Lauda Sion and Pange Lingua, both attributed to St. Thomas Aquinas” (Bennett). There are certain devotional practices that have, over the years, become the norm. One of these practices is the Corpus Christi Procession of the Blessed Sacrament, exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, ending with Benediction. Within the context of the mass, the liturgical color is white and the readings are on a specific three year cycle. This year, the readings are as follows; Genesis 14: 18-20, Psalm 110: 1,2,3,4, 1 Corinthians 11: 23-26, and Luke 9: 11-17 (Bennett).

Capuchin Franciscan Friars of Mid-America

God has led me to this beautiful and holy religious order of Priest and Brother Capuchins. If I were to ever feel the call to the Religious life, I would join these great men in a heart beat! Let us pray for an increase of Vocations to the Priesthood and Religious life and for the perseverance of those who have answered the call! Pax et bonum!

Excerpt from vocation story, followed by really cool recent story

["...In the grand scheme of things, God is the only one who knows why a particular person is attracted to the Priesthood or religious life or marriage. But in our own weak human way of analyzing it, I can say that my discernment to the Priesthood took up a long stretch of my rollercoaster ride through life. I am convinced that my Vocation was rooted from the very moment God created me and my first glimpse into that vocation occurred in 2002 while sitting before a priest in the sacrament of Confession. Up to that moment of conversion through the sacrament of confession, I was living a pretty average teenage life, just like any mainstream teenager was living in our modern society. I remember that moment like it was just yesterday, I was sitting inside the Sacred Heart Basilica on the Notre Dame campus with hundreds of other young people my age, yet I felt like the only one in that Basilica. Everyone and everything just seemed to disappear and I began to contemplate my life, my intense struggles and the fact that God seemed to be absent or at least in and out of my life. I began to tear up just thinking about my confusion and my shame and after a few minutes of fighting back the waterworks, my eyes couldn’t hold it in and I began to sob before God and all my "invisible" peers around me. It was at that moment that I became entranced by the presence of God. It was as if he was reaching his hand down from Heaven to say “Jared, I am here.” Moved by the spirit, I stood up from my pew and walked me over to one of the side altars where a newly ordained Priest was silently praying. I sat down in front of him face to face as I hung my head in shame and the minute I looked up to make eye contact with him, I lost it again. He simply put his hand on my shoulder and let me cry as the Holy Spirit did it‘s work. Shortly after, we began to speak. I began to unload everything that was weighing me down. My private struggles, I revealed to him. Pains that were inflicting me, I unleashed. Things that had held me captive for years in the deepest darkest parts of my being, were finally being cast into the light. We spoke for what seemed to be over an hour that night and he spoke some of the most powerful words that have ever been uttered my direction. He said to me, “Jared, Satan is a LIAR! He has been lying to you for all these years. Satan is nothing more than a LIAR!" Through our conversation, I came to understand that the evil one can tempt us, but He cannot touch us, unless we open the door to him. So I needed to close the door to the snares and the deceit of Satan and open wide the doors to Christ! He then said, “God is trying to get your attention, does He have it now?” He proceeded to tell me that God works in mysterious ways, ways that we will never understand, but it is up to us to TRUST, to trust in His will and to follow him with open eyes, an open heart, and an unyielding faith. My faith that had been shaken was immediately beginning to strengthen and reform with every word that Fr. Dan was speaking. And then came the moment of Absolution. The moment that would change my life forever and send me in the direction that God had always planned for me..."]

God was truly present and working through Fr. Dan in his ministry as a confessor. For that I am forever grateful. I want to point out that towards the end of my confession, he gave me his Ordination prayer card, which had his name and ordination date on the back. He also gave me two other prayer cards, one of Christ approaching the future disciples/fishermen for the first time and another prayer card (book mark) with an image of the Holy Trinity. I have kept these cards all these years and of course took them with me to college and to Seminary. One day while praying before the tabernacle at St. Joseph Abbey (& Seminary College), something caused me to look really hard at the painting above the tabernacle and all of the sudden, my contemplation was interrupted by an extreme familiarity of the painting that I had not noticed up to that point. I cut my prayer short (hopefully God understood!) and I raced back to my room in search of the Trinity prayer card Fr. Dan had given to me. Low and behold, the painting on the prayer card of the Holy Trinity was the same painting above the tabernacle in the Abbey. I was speechless; what a beautiful and overwhelming moment it was for me! The same cherished card that I had received from Fr. Dan 7 years earlier during one of my deepest darkest moments of my life, was of the same painting that was above the tabernacle I was praying before as a Seminarian! It was definitely a "God moment!"

Man Up! Be An Authentic Man of God in a World that tells us otherwise...

Brothers in Christ - There is an ancient war that still rages on to this very day. It is a continuous battle between the Lord Our God and the Evil One Satan, who battle day in and day out for the heart and soul of the human race. 1 John, Chapter 5, proclaims with great certainty that the whole world is under the deceptive control of the Evil One. My brothers, we are on a perilous journey through enemy territory. This world, this life, is our battle ground and we are called to be REAL MEN, REAL SOLDIERS in this fight. So, my question to you this day is, where have all the real men gone? Are you enlisted in God’s army?

My brothers, Real manhood, real masculinity has become so ridiculed and mocked, so twisted and redefined, and almost even demonized that many men are deep down, afraid to be a REAL MAN or don’t even know what it means anymore. As Catholic men, we are not JUST men, but as St. Paul tells us, we are men of God, men aimed at virtue, Godliness, faith, love, gentleness, steadfastness; we are men called to fight the good fight of faith.

Being a man isn’t about wearing certain clothes, or having a swarm of ladies chasing you down, or having the biggest and nicest car, or being the best at sports, or having the biggest biceps, or being the most intellectual or having the most money. NO, it’s not any of those things. It is about being strong and noble, indestructible in your sacrifice for the weakest among us, invincible in the sacrifice for the beautiful gift of woman that God brought into this world, and it is about being a champion for truth!

Brothers, do you seek real manhood, do you seek real masculinity, do you have what it takes to enlist your entire being, all that you are, into God’s army? Are you strong enough to endure a counter-cultural life? Christ did not come into this world and die on a cross for you so that you could have a mediocre faith and live a mediocre manhood. Are you a soldier for Christ, ready to fight the good fight of faith and love. If so, I challenge you now, I challenge you to live by these four “Principles of Manhood” which I now offer to you:
Principle #1 - A Real Man Rejects Passivity - As a man, you must accept social and spiritual responsibilities entrusted to you by God. It all starts with a decision to reject social and spiritual passivity when nothing is the more comfortable and natural option.

Principle #2 - A Real Man Accepts Responsibility - in all its forms. As a man, you must obey the will of God with an unyielding faith. You must also use your unique gifts and abilities for the greater good of God’s Kingdom. One must also treat every woman with respect and dignity and protect her at all times, you must love, lead and honor them at all times.


Principle #3 - A Real Man Leads Courageously - God created us as men to lead, not to follow. Leadership demand that men have the courage to master their passions and bridle themselves with the principles of truth.

Principle #4 - A Real Man Expects the Greater Reward , God’s Reward - Manhood is challenging. Real manhood was designed by God to be liberating and a means of Great Reward. What kept Jesus in the race? The anticipation of Joy! Great Reward! Real manhood is at times rigorous; it demands courage and sacrifice!

My brothers listen to your heart, listen real intently, God is trying to get your attention; He is speaking to you. Are you hearing him, or are you hearing the world?

My brothers, rise up, and put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having SHOD YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up the SHIELD OF FAITH with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, which is the Word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the spirit.

My dear brothers and fellow soldiers, DO NOT BE AFRAID to be a REAL man and to fight the good fight, for God is at your side and there he will always be.

It is my continued prayer that an epidemic of faith continues to break out in our world because of men like you.

St. Padre Pio, Pray for us! St. Michael the Archangel Protect us in Battle!

Incredible Words of Wisdom!

Voice of St. Padre Pio de Pietrelcina:

"Keep your eyes fixed on Him who is your guide to the Heavenly country, where He is leading you. What does is matter to you whether Jesus wishes to guide you to Heaven by way of the desert or by the meadow, so long as He is always with you and you arrive at the possession of a blessed eternity?" ~St. Padre Pio

My Vocation Story (in a nutshell)

Here is my Vocations Story that I shared with my home Parish of St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church at all the Masses this past weekend! All my praise and thanks goes to you Oh Lord for all that you have done in my life! Brthers and Sisters, please pray with me for an increase of Vocations in our Catholic Church and for the perserverance of those who have answered the call! Please read and enjoy:

Good Morning! For those of you who do not know me, my name is Jared Cooke and I am a parishioner and seminarian from this parish of St. Vincent de Paul. I thank you for allowing me to be here today to speak to you for just a few minutes about my calling to the Priesthood and to present to you a vocations challenge, should you choose to accept.

It is professed in the first Chapter of the Gospel of Mark, "As Jesus passed by the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting out their nets into the sea; they were fishermen. Jesus said to them, 'Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men.' Then they left their nets and followed him." Just as Jesus' disciples dropped their nets, their livelihood, their dreams to follow him, I too have answered Christ's call in my life and after my first year at SJSC, I continue to follow him with an open heart and an unyielding faith. It has been yet another loop on this unpredictable rollercoaster ride through life and what keeps me going is the knowledge that God is in the seat right next to me! He has been with me at my highest moments, when I was soaring on top of the world and He has been there with me when I have spiraled downward into doubt and hopelessness. Regardless, He has been there with me the entire time and I have grown to love Him and know Him more intimately. I am ready for what is to come and I am unafraid.

You know, in the grand scheme of things, God is the ONLY one who knows why a particular person is attracted to the Priesthood, or attracted to the Religious Life, or attracted to Marriage. But in our own weak human way of analyzing it, I can say that my vocation to the Priesthood took up a very long stretch of that rollercoaster ride. I am convinced that my vocation is rooted from the very moment God created me and my first glimpse into that vocation occurred in 2002 while I was sitting before a Priest in the Sacrament of Confession. Up to that moment of conversion, I was living a pretty average teenage life, just like any mainstream teenager was living in our modern society. I remember that moment like it was just yesterday. I was sitting inside the Sacred Heart Basilica on the Notre Dame campus with hundreds of other young people my age. I began to contemplate my life, my struggles, and the fact that God seemed to be absent or at least in and out of my life. I began to tear up just thinking about it and after a few minutes of fighting back the waterworks, my eyes couldn't hold it back any longer and I began to weep. It was at that moment that I became entranced by the presence of God. It was as if He was reaching down from Heaven to say "Jared, I am here." I was moved by the spirit to get up from my pew and walk over to one of the side altars where a newly ordained Priest was silently praying. I sat down in front of him face to face as I hung my head in shame and the minute I looked up to make eye contact with him, I lost it again and began to weep. He simply put his hand on my shoulder and let me cry as the Holy Spirit did its work. Shortly after, we began to speak. I began to unload everything that was weighing me down. My private struggles, I revealed to him. Pains that were inflicting me, I unleashed. Things that had held me captive for years in the deepest, darkest parts of my being were finally being cast into the light. We spoke for over an hour that night and he spoke some of the most powerful words that have ever been uttered to me. He said, "Jared, my brother, Satan has been lying to you for all of these years. Satan is nothing more than a LIAR! He can tempt us, but he cannot touch us, unless we open the door. So close the door to the snares and deceit of Satan and open wide the doors to Christ!" He then said, "God is trying to get your attention, does He have it now?" He proceeded to tell me that God works in mysterious ways, ways that we will never understand, but it is up to us to TRUST, to trust in His will and to follow Him with open eyes, an open heart, and an unyielding faith. My faith that had just been shaken was immediately beginning to strengthen and re-form with every word that Fr. Dan was speaking. Then came the moment of Absolution. The moment that would change my life forever and send me in the direction that God had always planned for me to follow. Six years later, after finishing high school and two years of college, I began a trend of centering my day on God rather than just trying to fit Him into my day. At that point I was praying more than I was studying, which is good and bad depending on how you look at it! I felt as if I was in the wrong place in life and was spinning my wheels and going nowhere fast. One night while really struggling with all the stress and weight of life, something told me to go to the parish. So without a second thought, I drove to the Perpetual Adoration Chapel at St. Thomas Aquinas parish in College Station and began to pray before the Blessed Sacrament. After just minutes of agonizing over my current state of confusion and grief, that same feeling that I felt those six years ago came over me. I felt the true presence of God illuminating through my soul and with one glance at the Blessed Sacrament; I was overwhelmed with a love that I cannot describe to you. I then heard Christ speaking to my heart. It was unlike anything that I had ever experienced in my life. I saw with opened and unopened eyes what God was asking of me. God was calling me to follow him and enter into a countercultural life as a Priest and I could no longer say "No" to Him. Priesthood to me is a daunting and rather uncommon call and one that isn't to be taken lightly, thus why it took me so many years to say "Yes!" Not only that, but now my heart is completely consumed by Christ and His Church. Above all though, I want nothing else from this lifetime than to help bring others into communion with Christ.

You now know briefly my story and now comes the part where I get the opportunity to challenge you to help me and to help all of our brothers and sisters to once again create a culture of Vocation. We live in such a noisy culture that is not centered on God, but on the things of this world. Think about it! Listen to your heart, listen real intently, God IS speaking to you. Are you hearing Him, or are you hearing the world? Listen to the voice of God, often it is but a whisper! Are you following God's call in your life? Parents, are you open to God's call for your children whatever it may be? What if your parents had not answered God's call to get married and have children? What if Mother Teresa had not answered God's call to consecrated herself to the Lord and live amongst the poor? What if Pope John Paul the Great had not answered God's call to devote his life to Mary and our Lord and become a Priest? My brothers and sisters in Christ, Priesthood is for REAL men, consecrated life is for REAL women. Many of you right now, are probably being called and may not be hearing it. Do Not be Afraid! Brothers, we need some good men that are willing to sacrifice and lay down their lives, dropping everything to follow Christ. What a journey it could be! The more Priests that we have out there, the louder the message will be. So what exactly is it that I am challenging all of us to do today? I challenge you to open your hearts and minds to Christ. Open wide those doors to God's call in your life and to all you parents, I challenge you to be open to the possibility of your own children being called by God to a religious vocation and encourage them to explore that possibility. DO NOT BE AFRAID! I also ask that you keep me and my brother seminarians in your prayers as we continue to discern God's call in our lives and as we continue our formation to the Priesthood. And in our day to day lives, let us not forget to pray for our beloved Priests who day in and day out, administer to us the source and summit of our very lives, the Eucharist. I thank you for your time and offer my prayer that in this parish community; an epidemic of faith continues to break out because of each and every one of you. Thank you for your prayers and support and may God Bless you all!